NOW and My Inner Fool!

WOW! Happy New Year and welcome 2013. I am in awe of people who are in the minority of those who do not abandon their New Year resolutions and actually stick to them. Graci gave up soda for 2012 and has enjoyed her first taste of fizzy since December 31, 2011. I love and admire her resolve, especially being a teenager: football games, concerts, poolside, holiday and birthday celebrations, all of which invite and offer that cherished teenage drink of choice...soda!
Since none of us possess the ability to stop time, we are compelled to welcome 2013 with or without any new (or previous) resolutions. If truth be told, I have always avoided making any New Year pledges for fear of failure and the noted disappointment that would haunt me.
Knowing the resolutions Graci, my Bestie, and others have declared for 2013, as well as completely mindful of the previous year and every single thing it encompassed, I have decided to embrace a word for my New Year.

NOW! The word itself renders immediate awareness and consideration. Life truly can be both brutal and beautiful. I read once that life is about how to use what you got. If you need to start over again, then NOW represents finding strength to begin once more on a new path. NOW does not allow you to stumble over something that is behind you. NOW represents being effective while getting out in front of life and getting beyond what is holding you back.
I wish for NOW to feed my inner fool. Good friends, good music, good art, good food, good books, good rest!

"I must learn to love the fool in me-the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries. It alone protects me against that utterly self-controlled, masterful tyrant whom I also harbor and who would rob me of my human aliveness, humility, and dignity, but for my fool." Theodore Isaac Rubin

"But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise,..." 1 Cor 1:27

NOW and My Inner Fool!
I want to dance like Dee O'B!

Just Curious....

.....why when running slightly behind (not late), all drivers who seemingly have no particular destination in mind or time restraint, choose to pull out in front of my vehicle...causing me to breathe a heavy sigh, allow my hand a more forceful thump on the steering wheel, shaking my left leg up and down (you know without lifting my toes), and wanting to scream if I hear, "Mom are we going to be late?" one more time.

.....why, if truth be known, secretly wish I could keep pace with the zero fat, marathon types when running...but recognize with each stride layers of past injuries and accept my limitations.

.....why I never embraced high heels, pony tails, or mini skirts, and feel more comfortable in flip flops, loafers, and designer jeans, not that I can't pull out the Little Black Dress on occasion.

.....why, more often than not, I inescapably sit behind or in front of "baby row" on airplanes...of course the flights are international....my luck.

.....why milk, bread, and toilet paper are the items that disappear the quickest.

.....what you are curious about....just sayin'!

CarolinaCandor: Balance Amid Change

CarolinaCandor: Balance Amid Change: Balance amid change....the very title summons my attention. I have always believed that it takes courage to change and strength to balance. ...

Balance Amid Change

Balance amid change....the very title summons my attention. I have always believed that it takes courage to change and strength to balance. Adapting to anything new, different, or out of our own routine, can present many challenges. When confronting unfamiliarity, we can embrace our new situation with grit and determination, or allow it to deplete our initial resolve.

CarolinaCandor was created out of a desire to chronicle my daily life in Rome, Italy. Now that the children and I have moved back to Carolina, my love for the written word entices the blog to continue.

Now for balance....
Security, familiarity, trust, comfort, support, opportunity, happiness, friendships, reliance, consciousness, calm, soundness, truth, peace....

Discovered layers of myself continue to reveal a myriad of unrecognized facets that, if closely examined, would surprise even me. There have been too many "aha" moments....Rome, with all of the allure, was still a habitation that never seemed to wrap her arms around Graci and Freedom, but then Rome is not Carolina!

Rome and a New Eye

The Eternal City not only garnered my attention, but captured my heart. I have discovered multiple, untold truths about myself, as well as viewed myself in a fresh way. Rome with her layers of ancient, timeworn history and inhabitants stories, all physically left behind to remind us they had breath, continue to surround me with repose. Everywhere exists a divergent, distinguishable look, a unique and unambiguous cadence which ushers in each new day.

As I return to Carolina and stroll through my beloved town, Rome will enthrall and absorb every stride. What I won't see in my neighborhood is the metro bus which helped transport Graci to school and us to the next destination if lucky enough to jump on and catch a ride, the Mercato parading Italian vendors selling home grown fruits and vegetables, burlap sacks of beans, bags of pasta, homemade breads, freshest cuts of meat, finest catches of seafood, puffed pastries and mouth-watering chocolates. I won't see our elderly Italian neighbors playing cards outside the local cafe bar, two young Italian lovers publicly displaying their amorous advances, nor store front window spectacles of the latest fashions, if worn, would be unfamiliar to my own being.

What I won't see in my neighborhood are the familiar faces that once appeared as ghosts whom now call me friend, old structures constructed and forged by calloused hands, prolific splashes of color randomly positioned amid rooftops, the busy rhythm of expressos and cafes served to Italians assuming their position; standing and sipping inside our favorite bar. I won't see the breathtaking fountains that adorn the city, forever leaving me awestruck, cobblestone pathways emitting each and every story, while Italians and strangers alike enjoy their first taste of flavorful and yummy gelato.

You see, Rome has left an indelible impression on me which continues to profoundly change my existence. I have seen myself in new way. Although leaving this wonderful city soon, as well as a piece of my heart, I know my return will be welcomed and embraced with familiarity. Rome has given me a new eye for things that would go unnoticed at home in Carolina.

Bridging the Gap

Living in Italy, along with our two children and two dogs, has been an unforgettable experience without doubt. While sitting enjoying my first cup of tea on this beautiful, sunny, yet brisk morning in Rome, my mind recalls our initial few months of living this "foreign language" and reflecting on the decisions that influenced our resolve to pursue this unchartered path for our lives.

Our primary reason for relocating was the opportunity for Jon to help bring Upper Cervical Care to the nations, with Italy being the launching pad. So many of you have asked "Can't he do that living in the United States"...Yes, and was helping get sick people well with much success back home in Carolina. The opportunity to intimately and directly be involved in Research was the challenge that captivated his attention. Jon is working closely with the Italian Medical community as they collectively establish the direct result and function Upper Cervical Care contributes in the healing of selected patients. 


Likewise, the allure of Italy was coupled with purpose and intention. The aspiration to grasp the opportunity with deliberateness allowed Jon and me the resolve to relocate our family with optimism and expectancy that every single thing would line up according to our objectives....moreover our dreams. Oftentimes, the actuality of truth unearths camouflaged pretense which previously eludes you. 


A fresh take on "the lay of the land" so to speak, has provoked the children and me to decamp Rome, while Jon continues to satisfy his contractual obligation here in Italy. Our time will be divided amid two continents; I will soon be home to support and care for my mom during her impending surgery as well as reestablish "roots" for the children, whilst anticipating the next flight.

Rome has forever changed me. I stepped outside myself, followed my "Risk Taker", entwined myself to this Eternal City, garnered courage midst change, proliferated my faith, evolved with fortitude, assimilated a foreign language, and became conscious of essential strands of "candor".

Home to Rome...really?

Transition is slowly becoming reality, and while life seems to continue around us, we must "go for it" or stagnate. Living in this "foreign language" has taken all of us beyond our, so-called comfort zone, and propelled us into a favorable acceptance into this foreign existence. 


From the conception of our relocation to Rome, Graci requested to celebrate her 13th birthday in Paris, since...well, she would not enjoy a birthday party with her friends back home. Seeming logical, Jon and I agreed; actually we promised with blood tipped fingers, and throughout the waiting period were persistently reminded of the imminent and anticipated Paris Birthday Trip.


I must admit, Graci generated a good call, and we discovered Paris to be a delightful and exquisite city. The Tour Eiffel was our first stop and a favorite among the children. The tower looked like something a clever kid might have designed, and we climbed up the endless stairs through the tower's metal frame to arrive at a spectacular and memorable bird's-eye view of the city. Graci and Freedom were unaffected by the frigid temperatures as they ice skated on the tower's first stage...I, even now, cannot wrap my brain around an ice skating rink situated on the Eiffel Tower!


The highlight of the trip for me was Musee Du Louvre. The world's most famous museum did not disappoint. Filled with priceless treasures that include Leonardo da Vinci's Mona Lisa and the Venus de Milo, which were among my favorites, the Louvre transported me into a time capsule of Italian Renaissance, ancient Egypt, Roman mosaics, Etruscan art, Greek masterpieces, and sumptuous palace's. Graci and Freedom enjoyed the Sully wing with the mummies and other artifacts from ancient Egypt. Of course, after seeing what he considered the most captivating and engaging pieces, Freedom just wanted to locate the nearest eatery and "leave"....I was quickly reminded that he is simply a five year old little "Carolina" boy!


Paris was an unforgettable experience desired to be revisited once more. Amidst the whirlwind encounter, while recapping our weekend, Graci and I discovered that we were looking forward to going "home"...home to Rome? We literally mouthed the word "home". I have never considered Rome my home, Carolina is my home, but the familiarity and comfort that Rome represents announced, "Welcome Home".